I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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