of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
