he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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