Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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