There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize