when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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