Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
