dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
