i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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