the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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