I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
