The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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