is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
