If you die in college, do you die in real life?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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