Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
