Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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