burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
