just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
