She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
