you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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