Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think my moral compass just broke
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