I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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