So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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