I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
