I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
honey bunches of taint.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
