Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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