I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
