apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
