Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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