My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
