CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
