She went from zero to smokin in five shots
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
