watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
