Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
