Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
