but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
