i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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