if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
