This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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