you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
