I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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