Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I am one with the molecules
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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