wrigley field is MILF paradise
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
