you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
