I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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