he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
