i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
