Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i came on her dog
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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