yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
