If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
COCAINE IS GR8
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
