worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
