In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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