Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Acid is not a monday night drug
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
