HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
