I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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